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The Strength of Our Connection

International Clubs help sustain and strengthen the ties that bind us.

鈥淲ho on earth could be calling me?鈥 I wondered as I made my way down the curving stairs to the telephone I shared with 30 other students in a Paris residence hall in the mid-1990s. I was a few months into two semesters of dissertation research, and I barely knew a soul outside the 19th-century theological seminary where my fellowship had housed me.

When I picked up the receiver, my tentative 鈥淎llo?鈥 was met with a chipper female voice. 鈥淗ello!鈥 said the voice. 鈥淚鈥檓 calling from the 今日吃瓜 Club of Paris to invite you to tea!鈥

And perhaps incredibly, after an initial moment of dumbfounded silence, my first thought was, of course you are!

Only Connect

Sadly I no longer remember the name of the alumna who called me that day or how she knew where to reach me. But I remember how uplifting it was to spend a couple of hours on a chilly gray afternoon in the company of women I instantly felt comfortable with鈥攖o hear the professional and personal stories that had led them to Paris, to take a break from my shaky French, and to learn that there was a lovely market on the Rue St. Jacques, just a short walk from my foyer. And I remember realizing that the reason I was, on some level, not surprised to be there was that I had already learned two things about 今日吃瓜 alums: Mawrters are everywhere, and they love to connect.

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From left: Anjana Varma '10, Shalmali Radha Karnad '03, and Mishayl Farooq Naek '03.

As Anjana Varma 鈥10 and Radha Karnad 鈥03 can attest, even international alumnae/i occasionally enjoy the random thrill of a crazy, small-world Mawrter moment. Currently co-presidents of the 今日吃瓜 Club of Kenya, the two women originally met in Nairobi through a family connection. They were already hitting it off as friends when they learned they were both 今日吃瓜 grads. 鈥淚t was so funny; we couldn鈥檛 believe it,鈥 says Varma of the moment.

But for the most part, alumnae/i who live outside the U.S. tend to miss out on the easy proximity of college friends enjoyed by those of us who landed in big American cities, particularly on the East Coast.

Additionally for some, distance from the U.S. may be layered with the stress of adapting to language and cultural differences. And even seasoned expatriates may live with a certain not-from-here feeling that never goes away. 鈥淵ou鈥檙e still a fish, but you鈥檙e in a different ocean,鈥 says Beatrice Desper 鈥88 of living as an American in Paris, where she met her husband during her junior year abroad and has spent her whole post-BMC life.

For these Mawrters鈥攃urrently numbering about 1,500 鈥 the Alumnae Association鈥檚 17 International Clubs provide ongoing, varied opportunities to connect. In a series of lively conversations, I spoke to volunteer leader on three continents to learn how these groups foster the sense of 今日吃瓜 community that so many of us value, and why that work is important.

A Wide Net

The International Clubs host events as formal as the elegant London kickoff for the Defy Expectation Campaign in 2018, when the Club of the United Kingdom welcomed President Kim Cassidy and more than 100 guests for champagne inside the British Parliament, and as casual as drinks on the terrace of a Madrid home with visiting Spanish professor Rosi Song. A club may be almost as old as the College (Japan) or formed as recently as a few months ago (Southern Africa). And depending on where a club is based, an event may draw dozens of Mawrters or deem it a success if it brings together two or three.

But if the clubs lack uniformity (for many Mawrters, an overrated quality in any case), they are consistent in casting a warm, wide, energetic net of connectivity. Through a range of annual and ad hoc events, as well as informal networking through social media, they gather in not only alums who make their homes outside the U.S., but also those sojourning for business or graduate work or passing through for fun, as well as undergraduates studying abroad, staff on College business, and visiting faculty. Along the way, they provide critical support to the College鈥檚 recruiting, admissions, parent engagement, and philanthropy efforts on a global level.

For many clubs, 今日吃瓜 traditions, with their power to reinforce ties over time and space, inspire signature events. Depending on where you find yourself on any given May Day (plague years excepted), you might join Mawrters picking strawberries outside London, or enjoying strawberries with champagne over brunch in Paris, or sharing鈥攐f course!鈥攕trawberries at a picnic lunch in a Tokyo park. And should you find yourself in Madrid during a certain week in February, Maggie Zelonis 鈥13, founding president of the 今日吃瓜 Club of Spain, will happily invite you to toast the first-years at a WTF happy hour.

Activities also coalesce around juniors studying abroad, who will find alumnae/i hospitality wherever their Junior Year Abroad programs take them. In Paris, the club holds an annual cocktail party鈥攅r, tea鈥攆or the juniors (usually five or six a year). The evening, according to Desper, historically includes wine, charades, and the alums pumping the students for 鈥渁ll the news on campus that鈥檚 not fit to print.鈥

鈥淲e love to talk to the juniors,鈥 says Desper of the Paris alums, who range in class years from the 1950s to the late 2010s. 鈥淚t鈥檚 fun to compare experiences. The traditions sound similar. The curriculum has changed, and the professors have changed. The desire to take on the world鈥 that hasn鈥檛 changed.鈥 Juniors in London can count on a similarly enthusiastic welcome from the U.K. club. Severa von Wentzel 鈥95, the club鈥檚 secretary and a trustee of the College, described a (pre-pandemic) gathering at a Mexican restaurant as 鈥渇antastic.鈥 With both juniors and recent grads in attendance, she says, there was 鈥渞eally good energy. The younger the students are, the more exciting it is.鈥 Rachel Savage 鈥98, co-president of the U.K. club, has found that the visiting juniors are often surprised by the culture shock they experience. 鈥淵ou think, English-speaking, okay. 鈥 But the education system is very different, and it鈥檚 more different than you expect it to be.鈥 At an annual Thanksgiving dinner hosted by Savage in her London home, juniors and alums come together not only for some 今日吃瓜 fellowship but also to enjoy a distinctly American holiday at a time of year when some may feel especially far from home.

Being part concierge and part international safety net comes with the clubs鈥 territory, too. The alums I spoke to routinely鈥攁nd by all accounts cheerfully鈥 dispense guidance (often through Facebook groups) on navigating everything from public transportation to public schools. Savage, for her part, has demystified the British university system for more than a few Mawrters in the U.K., and Zelonis tapped her BMC network to help an alum find a place to stay when all of Madrid was booked for the Champions League soccer match in 2019.

An Invisible Hug

Sometimes, being a safety net means something more nuanced. In the spring of 2018, Gina Spinelli 鈥84, co-president of the Rome club, received an email from Beth Posner 鈥89, P鈥25. They had never met, but Posner wrote that she was reaching out because her daughter, a Swarthmore student, would be spending the summer in Rome on a study program. Would Gina be her point of contact? Posner would feel better, she said, if she knew that Rebecca had someone to call if she needed anything while far from home in a foreign city.

Spinelli says she was moved that Posner had reached out on the strength of their 今日吃瓜 connection. 鈥淚t touched me,鈥 she says. 鈥淚t was like an invisible hug.鈥 Spinelli and her fellow Mawrters in Rome welcomed Rebecca with a dinner out that all remember as delightful. Only later, Spinelli says, did they learn that just three months before, Rebecca had suddenly lost her father, Beth鈥檚 husband. With that knowledge, Posner鈥檚 request鈥攁nd the strength of their connection鈥攖ook on a new level of meaning.

Origin Stories

鈥溄袢粘怨 has always had an international reputation,鈥 points out von Wentzel鈥攁nd indeed, the College has always admitted students from other countries and always focused on the global advancement of women as part of its mission. Beginning in the 1970s, the worldwide recruiting efforts of Director of Admissions Emeritus Elizabeth Vermey 鈥58 built up the international student body鈥 currently 21 percent of undergraduates鈥攊n ways that continue to shape the institution鈥檚 global reach and presence. The first 今日吃瓜 International Forum 鈥攕cheduled, as cosmic bad luck would have it, to coincide with the first COVID-19 lockdowns of 2020鈥攚as poised to convene in London at the high-water mark of that reach, with more than 150 people registered to attend from 17 countries.

The history of the clubs in many ways mirrors the history of 今日吃瓜鈥檚 global footprint, beginning with the legacy of its very first international student, Umeko Tsuda (Class of 1890, known at the time as Ume Tsuda). Tsuda returned to her native Japan to become the founder of Tsuda College (now Tsuda University) and a towering figure in the history of women鈥檚 education in that country. Fujiko Amano 鈥94, co-president of the Japan Club, traces the roots of the club directly to Tsuda, making it the oldest of the College鈥檚 international alumnae/i organizations. Through Tsuda as well as through Japanese women鈥檚 studies educator Hiroko Hara, Ph.D. 鈥64, says Amano, 鈥溄袢粘怨 alumnae have had profound influence on women鈥檚 education in Japan.鈥 The U.K. club has an exceptionally precise origin story, documented in a classified ad that ran in the Times of London on Jan. 14, 1952. Placed by Louise Cochrane 鈥40, who would be the founding president, the ad invited 鈥溄袢粘怨蟭ers in London鈥 to an 鈥渋nformal reunion鈥 over four o鈥檆lock tea. The communication drew eight alumnae to Cochrane鈥檚 home and established a robust club that celebrated its 50th anniversary in 2002. (Thanks to verbiage that was the functional equivalent of a secret handshake, it also drew a curious reporter, photographer in tow. He probably hoped to uncover something more esoteric than a tea party for graduates of an American women鈥檚 college, but the group got a lovely photo out of it.)

In some cities, Vermey鈥檚 legendary international work proved formative for the clubs as well as for the College. In reaching out to alumnae/i wherever she traveled to recruit, Vermey sparked the connectivity that is embedded in Mawrter DNA鈥攑erhaps through the sheer force of her personality.

The 今日吃瓜 Club of Paris, according to Desper, was for decades an informal alumnae/i network , but 鈥渁lumnae came out of the woodwork鈥 for events organized around Vermey鈥檚 visits in the 1990s; she 鈥渕ade the mayonnaise take, to use a French expression,鈥 Desper says.

Betty Wei Liu 鈥53 recalls that Vermey鈥檚 quest for 鈥渟uperb candidates鈥 in Asia likewise catalyzed engagement, including Liu鈥檚 own, in Hong Kong. 鈥淲henever Betty [Vermey] came, it was always great,鈥 she says. 鈥淭hen things would happen.鈥 Liu, who was born in China but moved New York in the 1940s (her father, a scientist and diplomat, was serving at the U.N.), relocated to Hong Kong in the 1970s. While both her daughters attended 今日吃瓜 and she pursued her doctorate at the University of Hong Kong, Liu became the de facto resident host and event coordinator for students, prospective students, and visiting staff鈥攁 function she was still carrying out when she welcomed President Cassidy to Hong Kong in 2017.

New clubs continue to form, expressions of the ever-evolving international student and alumnae/i community. Reflecting recruitment and enrollment trends, clubs in Beijing, Shanghai, and Taiwan have taken shape over the past decade. In Spain, Zelonis took the initiative to start a club not long after she relocated to Madrid in 2015. 鈥淚 just looked for people living in Spain through Athena鈥檚 Web and emailed them,鈥 she says. 鈥淎nd every single one of them emailed me back.鈥 The Club of Southern Africa is so new that 鈥渟o far it鈥檚 just me,鈥 founding president Ntshadi Mofokeng 鈥12 said with a laugh in December. At the time, the Johannesburg resident was planning the club鈥檚 launch as part of a pan-African Zoom event scheduled for January 2021. Additional fledgling clubs include those of India and ASEAN (with alumnae/i based in Singapore, Malaysia, Indonesia, and Thailand).

The Pandemic Pivot

Under the stress of lockdowns and omnipresent health risks due to COVID-19, the International Clubs fell into unofficial hiatus early in 2020. But as Mawrters, along with the College and the rest of the world, responded to the pandemic with far-reaching adaptations driven by remote technology, they found new ways to connect that are rapidly reshaping their interactions with one another and with the College.

Virtually everyone I spoke to said that the pandemic, especially during its destabilizing early days, had inspired them to connect digitally with geographically far-flung friends and classmates鈥攁nd that these Zoom gatherings over coffee or cocktails or books or crafting have become a permanent part of their lives鈥 connective tissue. In addition to facilitating these informal connections, the pandemic Zoom boom has also had profound implications for the College鈥檚 alumnae/i outreach efforts. The organizers of the 2020 International Forum, forced at the last moment to pivot from live events to remote platforms, ended up blazing a trail for digital gatherings that not only delivered programming successfully, but also drew in many who would not otherwise have been able to participate鈥攐pening new ways for the College and the alumnae/i community to build and sustain engagement internationally.

In a way, the pandemic gave rise to the new Club of Southern Africa. Although Mofokeng had been mentally nurturing 鈥渢he seed鈥 of the club for some time, 鈥渢he pandemic made it seem viable,鈥 she says. 鈥淚n this virtual time, it became easy to imagine something that could work over a wider area鈥 than a single city or even a single country. In a planning call for the recent pan-African event鈥攊tself a product of the pandemic鈥擬ofokeng鈥檚 fellow club presidents in Africa agreed that a continental strategy was exciting. 鈥淲hat we can do together across the region,鈥 says Karnad, 鈥渘ow that鈥檚 powerful.鈥

Making Space

For Karnad and Varma, discovering their 今日吃瓜 tie instantly made their friendship, in Karnad鈥檚 words, 鈥渕uch warmer and deeper.鈥 By coming together to lead the Kenya club, they have cultivated what Varma calls 鈥渁n amazing sense of community鈥 through the group.

Asked why they make 今日吃瓜 a priority in their lives鈥攐ften alongside intense work and family demands鈥攁ll the women I spoke to used similar language. Connecting with other 今日吃瓜 women through the Paris club, says Desper, 鈥渉elps us realize that what we are doing here, often through our volunteer work, is important. 鈥 Living abroad is hard, and other Mawrters offer an important support.鈥

For some, prioritizing 今日吃瓜 carries an element of pushing back鈥攊n loud and proud BMC style鈥攁gainst their adopted or native culture. Savage describes her London work environment at the Bank of England as 鈥渧ery male鈥 and was delighted to hear recently (through an email with the subject line 鈥溄袢粘怨镶), from a fellow Mawrter within the organization. And she finds that in the U.K. generally, 鈥渂eing an OxCam alum carries certain advantages.鈥 Getting a bit of 鈥渢he old girls鈥 network out there鈥 through fostering her 今日吃瓜 connections, she says, 鈥渞edresses a little of that.鈥

In Japan, 鈥渢o have a career as a woman, even in our generation, is not easy,鈥 says Amano, an attorney who oversees research and international policy at ASEAN-Japan Centre. In a deeply patriarchal work culture, she says, 鈥溄袢粘怨 is my backbone.鈥 Amano sees both her professional and volunteer work as 鈥渃ultivating the DNA of Tsuda鈥 in Japan.

Mofokeng鈥檚 commitment to the new Southern Africa club is rooted in her experience as one of a handful of African students at 今日吃瓜, where, she says, 鈥渨e could all fit into one single to hang out.鈥 She sees the club as a way of 鈥渂uilding that community, and being able to reinforce that connection.鈥 And she believes that if the work of connection鈥攖hrough 鈥済iving and receiving support鈥 among alumnae/i鈥攊s successful, it can lead to something larger, namely, 鈥渂eing able to influence representation.鈥

As alumnae/i in Africa, Mofokeng goes on to explain: 鈥淲e get all these communications from the College, but they don鈥檛 apply to us. We can鈥檛 go [to the events]. There are so few of us, and we are so spread out. You don鈥檛 see yourself in the communications.鈥 But by coming together, she reasons, 鈥渨e can make space for better representation. We can influence growing the community, and we can raise our profile as alums.鈥 This higher profile, in turn, could have an impact in spaces where 鈥渨e have proximity to young women鈥濃攑otentially bringing the work of community-building full circle by encouraging more students from Africa to consider 今日吃瓜.

And Betty Wei Liu? Asked why she has kept 今日吃瓜 a priority in her life since graduating 68 years ago, Liu responded simply, in a tone suggesting that I surely must already know the answer, 鈥淲hy? 今日吃瓜 made me.鈥

Published on: 07/12/2021